New Normals

I have to admit, I've written this post a few times, and it's been sitting unposted for a couple weeks now. I feel so scatter brained and can't seem to gather my thoughts.. I blame the children, but I'm sure most of it had to do with surviving the end of the school year events, as well as packing for our road trip! 

I'm always reminded of how bad I am at keeping up a blog when I look at the date of the last post. I'm very inconsistent to say the least. I wish I was better at "blogging". Not just to say I blog or to be a blogger, but to sit, think, and put some thoughts down. Thankfully blog-keeping isn't my job, and my posting consistency is not something that defines me! Knowing that I can return to this old thing anytime I want, and do it just for the joy of it, without any nonsense pressure put on myself makes it more enjoyable. This must mean I'm maturing, right?? Haha.. I think I've heard somewhere that if you have to say you're mature, you're really not! 

I don't feel like I need to update the whole 9 months (who's counting?) since my last post..because really, it's just too much to fill in that span of time. Life has been fun, it has been full, we are always learning and growing, and changing. 

                                   

                                                 
It has been almost a year since our move from the desert. It was such a huge thing for us. Adventurous, scary, and exciting..things that seemed foreign in the beginning now feel more familiar. 
                                                 

                                         

What used to be our "normal" isn't quite the same...and it feels like it will continue to change for awhile. Our life has been a gradual progression these past couple of years, as we're discovering and grabbing hold of what we want it to be at the core. Going against the grain in some aspects...maybe a lot. We jokingly have started referring to ourselves as "weird" now... from the way we eat, quitting cable, our natural home remedies, homemade tooth paste, the desire to live a slower and simple life of living off the land when we can...It's not the norm we used to know a few years ago. A lot of it started way back with Dave Ramsey's debt free living sayings "debt is normal, be weird" and "live like no one else, so one day you can live like no one else". And for us that has led into other areas of our lives. Weird ain't so bad though...weird is the new normal! 

We noticed we're out of the "honeymoon stage" of our move. Much of the newness has worn off, but we haven't lost the excitement of it all. Although we still feel in limbo at times, we have so much expectation for what's to come.
                                         

                                         

                                         
And the crazy thing is, we don't necessarily know all of the details of what's to come or when...but that's not always for us to know, right? At this moment in time we are about to either renew our lease, or buy something! We have been on the house search for the last 6 months or so..but what we want to buy isn't the typical cookie cutter home (think homestead on land), and we're probably a bit picky, and we just aren't finding anything at the price we are willing to pay. That tells me we need to wait. But if anything were to happen (Ok, God??) now would be the time!! 

We are doing some more camping and hunting trips and having so much fun. The boys are really loving these trips so much they don't ever want to go home! 

They're running free, exploring, seeing deer, cows, newborn calves, making friends with the ranch hand and all his animals, attempting to make squirrel traps...they wake up when the sun comes up, and sleep when the sun goes down. 

But this camping isn't the kind with running water and electricity. We bring the trailer, which is wonderful, but we have to limit our water usage and we are all pretty grungy by the end of the trip. But there's  something about being in the middle of that beautiful country, in God's creation, that we find so much peace. I catch myself wondering "could I possibly live a life like this??" 

Our big game hunts haven't brought us home any meat yet but we're experiencing so much, and learning a ton. There is so much life to learn out there..whether we bring home meat or not, we're making great memories..I can't tell you how many times I've heard from the boys that it was "the best day ever!

Church has been really great! We are still trying to find our place but have peace knowing we are right where we are supposed to be. We love the heart of our church, it is so missional and the focus is on loving others and helping them see themselves as Christ sees them. It took me a long time to realize I didn't even see myself that way. But it has brought so much rest and freedom from all of the trying to "achieve God's love". The church is very active in the community, and in parts of the world...it's exciting to see God moving through this church. We even picked up some passport applications the other day (what?!?). I don't even know where we're going yet... but if and when the opportunity presents itself, we want to be ready!

                                         
We just finished up another school year, and it went great overall! The boys have had a lot of fun, they've tried new things, and made a few new friends. I didn't know if we were going to be dealing with any issues having moved to a new city but my boys seemed to adjust well. I'm so thankful! I think it had a lot to do with them all being at the same school together, and I'm so proud of how brave they were to step out of their comfort zones.

                                                    

                                     
But mid-way through the school year we had something come up with one of the boys (it was unusual for us, not because I have perfect kids, but we never had this sort of behavior issue, especially in regards to school). What we ended up identifying as a matter of his strong will at the core, turned out to be the Lord confirming something else in my heart. Something I had been praying about, considering, questioning, researching. This decision didn't come out of a bad experience. It came from feeling deep down that there is something missing. Not just "missing" my children while they're at school all day, but missing out on a large portion of their life. This came from feeling that there's something more, something deeper...and when you pray to go deeper, the Lord will take you there!

We have decided to begin homeschooling this fall. I still can't believe I'm saying/typing these words. I never would have thought I'd be homeschooling but I know in my heart this is our path for now, and it may change in the future, but until the Lord leads otherwise, this is where we're at. And honestly, we are all pretty excited about it! I thought for sure some of the boys would resist but they're all on board. 

                                                   
I know this is something not everyone agrees with, we all come from different viewpoints, but I've learned that everyone is on their own journey in life and we all do what we see fit for ourselves and for our families. It has taken so much research, and prayer, and I'm sure that will always be the case..I know I cannot do this on my own, but the great things He calls us to aren't done in our own strength. The Lord comes in our time of weakness and HIS strength is made perfect.. HIS strength is enough. HE is enough. All I know is- this is a journey, it's foreign, and that's part of the adventure.. to be brave and bold enough to take that leap of faith into the unknown. If I don't step out and try, I will always wonder what if.. Thankfully God is good, He is gracious and patient and has led every step of the way, continuously bringing just the right person with a word, a verse, encouragement at just the right time to direct us on the right path. 

{A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9}

Over these last few years we have been thinking praying about what we want in our lives, how we want to live, to love, what we want for our children, what we want to instill in them, about the true riches in life...we only get so much time with them before we set them off into the world as (hopefully) functional citizens. We hope to do all we can with the precious time we have to raise young men who love the Lord, who are brave and strong, yet loving and kind, who will change the world. I don't take this lightly, so pray for us if you will. Pray that we are wise and discerning as to what's best for these boys. That we are sensitive to the Lord's leading, and for courage and strength during this time in our lives. It would mean so much! 

Can We SLOW Down Just A Tad?

I'm sitting here and it's the end of September. The END. How in the world did we get here so fast already? I didn't even get to celebrate or even breathe on the first day of fall. A day I usually do all things pumpkin no matter the weather. Ever since the first week of school, mid-August, which also happened to be the first week of soccer AND the week of my firstborns' 9th birthday, I can barely get a moment to catch my breath and think straight. Schedules and life hit and it hit hard! I don't know why, but this happens every year. I shouldn't be surprised by it, right? It's like the summers in the desert- we know it's coming but we still are shocked at how hot it is and question why we even live(d) there! So I should've been ready for the start of school and sports and the birthdays but it all came so fast, and I thought there was more time. But that's not the case, everrrr. There's never enough time. Even if we magically had more hours in the day there would never be enough time. Not a chance. But I think that's the Lord's way of reminding me to stop and slow down and enjoy each moment as they come. This is something I struggle with day to day. I'm a busy girl {obviously} but I'm also very busy-minded. I am constantly making lists so I don't forget something, but also because I am always thinking of what I need to be doing while I'm already doing something else! It also explains why I "need" to be organized. BUT it's not natural for me to stop and take time in moments, to fully experience it and BE completely present. That is my struggle. So, like many others, I am a work in progress. And I am proud of what progress I have made, but I'm definitely not where I want to be..I'm growing as I go, and my biggest teachers are the littlest ones. My boys. It's so humbling to be learning life's most important lessons from my children... and it resonates so deeply in my heart.

So to catch you up on our life I'll share a little bit of what's been happening on our homestead:

We are halfway through soccer season. The sport that takes up 5 days of the week! Woohoo...yaaaay...is it over yet? 

            

Ok, I am actually really enjoying soccer because my boys are loving it! It's a lot of fun watching them outside the confines of the home, interacting and competing with other kids. My oldest plays in one division, and his team is doing pretty well so far. Mason is a pretty good defender but he is ALL over the field, and he's aggressive! I like to think he gets it from his Mama ;) It's really surreal catching a look at him and seeing so much of myself but in boy version! 

              

Micah and Mitchell play in a younger division together and are having a blast. The coach always get their names mixed up so he nicknamed Micah "Cannon" because he's got a pretty good kick. He plays defense and is also pretty aggressive, but when he gets to kick the ball as hard as he can he gets so excited he'll jump up and do a fist pump..it's quite hilarious and cute coming from my mild child. I love seeing that different side of him. Mitchell, on the other hand is my fighter...he's fast and furious! He usually plays offense and he has scored a couple goals now. This age is a joy to watch because they're still learning the game and it's so innocent still. 

             

Mason joined band! It's pretty foreign to me but I'm glad he wants to learn something new. He signed up for percussion, which means there will be drums in the future...oh Lord help me!

Josh and I won a trip- to Hawaii! Our church was raffling off a trip to Hawaii to raise money for the youth group, so Josh thought "Yes, let's support our youth!" We had unexpected money come in from our house sale so we bought our raffle tickets with that, not planned at all, we wouldn't even have bought tickets if we didn't have that money. And low and behold we won! God is so good, and now we get a vacation, just the two of us for a week in Kauai! I have to tell you, I'm already checking out mentally! We are really looking forward to this :) 

In the beginning of August we started a garden- and it has been A LOT OF WORK! Obviously starting a garden is very laborous- is that a word? It's work. Werk. Hard work that makes your muscles and fingers and bones hurt! And you get dirt in your nails, sunburnt and filthy all over...but something about it is very therapeutic to me! I love working the land, I get time to think, and reflect and it's so satisfying to me. Especially because things are growing! 

                       

                      

            

                      

                     

We have a few small pumpkins, acorn squash that are the size of small cantaloupes and butternut squash galore! I'm shocked at how fast everything has grown out here so far. Oh and I just harvested (haha I love saying that I harvested something) my first beets! 

                      

It's so fulfilling to grow your own food! We've also started carrots and onions, and I just planted seeds for a variety of lettuces, broccoli, cauliflower, radishes, turnips and cabbage. We had peas, but we had have a gopher. Enough said! We're learning a lot, that's for sure! 

As fall has completely snuck up on me I have to say...it is one of my favorite seasons by far, and I'm super excited to be in a climate that will embrace the season! The cooler weather and changing leaves make my soul happy. But with that comes fires, and snuggles by the fire, children reading books, card games, hot drinks, boots and blankets, soups, sweet smelling spices, apples and pumpkins... and I love all of it! Something I really look forward to though, is a slower pace. To rest. To breathe. To savor the moments in which I am living. I will embrace them as they come, putting aside the distractions and to-do's, to live life fully right where I am... because real life, real living is in the moments. 

Blackberry Goodness

                     

Berry picking is in full swing over here and I am loving it! I can't recall ever picking berries before. My husband couldn't believe it, but I also have a very poor memory. I blame the children. They will suck all life out of you. If you haven't had children, consider yourself warned! I can remember dates, birthdays, silly facts/quirks about a person or inside jokes but my childhood memories are minimal. Maybe I should seek professional help!? Anywho, berries! We drove up to Oak Glen since it's only a short drive now, and had our first family berry picking sesh. We weren't as prepared as we should have been because we went on a whim. But we had baskets and that's all we need right?! Well, the boys had to get familiar with the pokey bushes and developing an eye for the berries. As well as not dropping their whole basket while walking. That's a biggie!

                               

                 

We ended up coming home with plenty of blackberries, stained hands and a few pricks and scratches from the bushes. After much deliberation I decided on making these super yummy Blackberry Pie Bars. They were easy, fed a crowd, and delish.

                               

A few weeks later we went back, fully ready with our long sleeve shirts, pants and close toed shoes! We were ready, and the boys jumped right in..almost. Miles protested by taking each berry he found (all 12), squished them through his little fingers and threw them in the rocks. He came home looking like he was in a bloody brawl and the berries won.

                                

                                 

Aside from that the rest of us enjoyed the gathering and taste testing of berries. This time I made a blackberry pie per boys' request. And honestly, you can't go wrong with pie! Well unless you completely botch the crust, which I've done many times. But what I mean is..everyone loves pie!  

                 

I don't have a "go-to" pie crust recipe yet so I was having trouble deciding which one to make because there are SO MANY different recipes out there. I ended up going with an all butter crust and chose the pie recipe from a Southern Living Cookbook. I was happy with how it turned out and my kitchen smelled like heaven. It's so hard to watch a cooling pie without scorching your finger to sneak a taste. But I never did that so I wouldn't know. All in all the pie was pretty goood and leftovers for breakfast- even better! 

Adjustments.

Well it has been a couple weeks since we finally got all moved in and have been slowly unpacking box after box, after box, after box... And I want to just skip all that monotonous stuff and move straight on to having a beautiful green lawn, growing a huge abundant garden and having chickens roaming around, and sitting on the porch swing sippin iced coffee... and then the world will be perfect! Right?! Oh how I wish :) 

In the meantime I got all acquainted with the 1948 block building I now call home. 

It had previously been vacant for 9 months or so. Which means lots of spiders, webs and dust. 

It's cute, and charming with it's hardwood flooring, scalloped kitchen cabinets, front porch, brick fireplace, mud room and built-ins. 

                           

                             

                                    

And some things aren't as "charming". It's not bad. Nothing I can't live with, but I just need a lil adjusting. The windows have cranks and are old and hard to open so I get a nice arm work out everyday. The floors, I've always wanted wood flooring but I didn't know it would be so creaky and loud. The bathroom toilets and sinks seem to be for very short people...which hubby and I are not. There isn't a dishwasher. I looked and looked but it's nowhere to be found. It's got a swamp cooler, only. I'm glad I still have something for the rare hot days here, but I'm just not used to it! And there's lots of spiders. Like everywhere. There was a big friendly one hiding on the towel I was about to use..on my face! Can I just say huge spider on my face is not the good morning I like to receive! And did I mention it doesn't have a dishwasher?? All in all it's been some adjusting as every new change in life..but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I absolutely love it here. 

There is so much beauty all around. In the sunrises and sunsets. The afternoon breezes. In the hills, clouds and old oak trees. In the horses and farm life everywhere. And if you head up the trail from our house you'll probably see a doe lapping water at dusk. 

                                 

But I have to say my favorite thing to see everyday are the old farmhouses and white post fencing along people's property. I just can't get enough of it :) 

                          

Did I mention we have a. lot. of. space? It's a must with four busy and wild boys. 

They can play and run, fly kites, target shoot, ride dirt bikes or whatever their adventurous hearts desires! All in our backyard!

                     

                    

I can't wait to decorate our new place and make it our home. With the creaks and all it will be a home filled with love, laughter, craziness, silly moments, quiet times (but not too many), some hurts I'm sure, but also forgiveness, second chances, hopes and dreams. We are so excited for our new journey and what will come of it! 

A Season for Change

I never thought in a million years I would leave. This desert I've spent my life. This town I've lived in. Grown in. The childhood memories. The church I married in. The friends that have become family. My family that are my neighbors. This place I've had my babies.

The community I have prayed for. But it came to a point where we realized our "picture perfect" life here wasn't going to be our forever.  We knew deep in our hearts there is something else, something different...somewhere else. And you can't always explain it...but there's no doubt in my mind it's the right thing.  
We had been called to move. 
And it's scary, and exciting, and overwhelming, and amazing. But the most amazing thing of all is being able to see and experience the work of God in every step and detail of this whole process! My faith has been stretched and tested...and I am forever changed. When you are naturally a control freak and love to have your life, let alone day, planned out you don't always do these "leaps of faith" so well. But I was brought to the point where I thought "why not?" Why not now, why not go, why not dream big? I don't want to look back 20 years later wishing I would've done this or tried that. I want to live bravely and boldly in this one life we get. And if I fail, oh well. At least I tried and I'm sure I'll take a life lesson away from it! 
So here we are, with our house sold. The school year ended. Members of a different church. Packed up and relocated. Walking in unknown territory. But led by the Lord, without fear or doubt. With excitement for what lies ahead. 
Stay tuned for bits and pieces of our adventure...!