New Normals

I have to admit, I've written this post a few times, and it's been sitting unposted for a couple weeks now. I feel so scatter brained and can't seem to gather my thoughts.. I blame the children, but I'm sure most of it had to do with surviving the end of the school year events, as well as packing for our road trip! 

I'm always reminded of how bad I am at keeping up a blog when I look at the date of the last post. I'm very inconsistent to say the least. I wish I was better at "blogging". Not just to say I blog or to be a blogger, but to sit, think, and put some thoughts down. Thankfully blog-keeping isn't my job, and my posting consistency is not something that defines me! Knowing that I can return to this old thing anytime I want, and do it just for the joy of it, without any nonsense pressure put on myself makes it more enjoyable. This must mean I'm maturing, right?? Haha.. I think I've heard somewhere that if you have to say you're mature, you're really not! 

I don't feel like I need to update the whole 9 months (who's counting?) since my last post..because really, it's just too much to fill in that span of time. Life has been fun, it has been full, we are always learning and growing, and changing. 

                                   

                                                 
It has been almost a year since our move from the desert. It was such a huge thing for us. Adventurous, scary, and exciting..things that seemed foreign in the beginning now feel more familiar. 
                                                 

                                         

What used to be our "normal" isn't quite the same...and it feels like it will continue to change for awhile. Our life has been a gradual progression these past couple of years, as we're discovering and grabbing hold of what we want it to be at the core. Going against the grain in some aspects...maybe a lot. We jokingly have started referring to ourselves as "weird" now... from the way we eat, quitting cable, our natural home remedies, homemade tooth paste, the desire to live a slower and simple life of living off the land when we can...It's not the norm we used to know a few years ago. A lot of it started way back with Dave Ramsey's debt free living sayings "debt is normal, be weird" and "live like no one else, so one day you can live like no one else". And for us that has led into other areas of our lives. Weird ain't so bad though...weird is the new normal! 

We noticed we're out of the "honeymoon stage" of our move. Much of the newness has worn off, but we haven't lost the excitement of it all. Although we still feel in limbo at times, we have so much expectation for what's to come.
                                         

                                         

                                         
And the crazy thing is, we don't necessarily know all of the details of what's to come or when...but that's not always for us to know, right? At this moment in time we are about to either renew our lease, or buy something! We have been on the house search for the last 6 months or so..but what we want to buy isn't the typical cookie cutter home (think homestead on land), and we're probably a bit picky, and we just aren't finding anything at the price we are willing to pay. That tells me we need to wait. But if anything were to happen (Ok, God??) now would be the time!! 

We are doing some more camping and hunting trips and having so much fun. The boys are really loving these trips so much they don't ever want to go home! 

They're running free, exploring, seeing deer, cows, newborn calves, making friends with the ranch hand and all his animals, attempting to make squirrel traps...they wake up when the sun comes up, and sleep when the sun goes down. 

But this camping isn't the kind with running water and electricity. We bring the trailer, which is wonderful, but we have to limit our water usage and we are all pretty grungy by the end of the trip. But there's  something about being in the middle of that beautiful country, in God's creation, that we find so much peace. I catch myself wondering "could I possibly live a life like this??" 

Our big game hunts haven't brought us home any meat yet but we're experiencing so much, and learning a ton. There is so much life to learn out there..whether we bring home meat or not, we're making great memories..I can't tell you how many times I've heard from the boys that it was "the best day ever!

Church has been really great! We are still trying to find our place but have peace knowing we are right where we are supposed to be. We love the heart of our church, it is so missional and the focus is on loving others and helping them see themselves as Christ sees them. It took me a long time to realize I didn't even see myself that way. But it has brought so much rest and freedom from all of the trying to "achieve God's love". The church is very active in the community, and in parts of the world...it's exciting to see God moving through this church. We even picked up some passport applications the other day (what?!?). I don't even know where we're going yet... but if and when the opportunity presents itself, we want to be ready!

                                         
We just finished up another school year, and it went great overall! The boys have had a lot of fun, they've tried new things, and made a few new friends. I didn't know if we were going to be dealing with any issues having moved to a new city but my boys seemed to adjust well. I'm so thankful! I think it had a lot to do with them all being at the same school together, and I'm so proud of how brave they were to step out of their comfort zones.

                                                    

                                     
But mid-way through the school year we had something come up with one of the boys (it was unusual for us, not because I have perfect kids, but we never had this sort of behavior issue, especially in regards to school). What we ended up identifying as a matter of his strong will at the core, turned out to be the Lord confirming something else in my heart. Something I had been praying about, considering, questioning, researching. This decision didn't come out of a bad experience. It came from feeling deep down that there is something missing. Not just "missing" my children while they're at school all day, but missing out on a large portion of their life. This came from feeling that there's something more, something deeper...and when you pray to go deeper, the Lord will take you there!

We have decided to begin homeschooling this fall. I still can't believe I'm saying/typing these words. I never would have thought I'd be homeschooling but I know in my heart this is our path for now, and it may change in the future, but until the Lord leads otherwise, this is where we're at. And honestly, we are all pretty excited about it! I thought for sure some of the boys would resist but they're all on board. 

                                                   
I know this is something not everyone agrees with, we all come from different viewpoints, but I've learned that everyone is on their own journey in life and we all do what we see fit for ourselves and for our families. It has taken so much research, and prayer, and I'm sure that will always be the case..I know I cannot do this on my own, but the great things He calls us to aren't done in our own strength. The Lord comes in our time of weakness and HIS strength is made perfect.. HIS strength is enough. HE is enough. All I know is- this is a journey, it's foreign, and that's part of the adventure.. to be brave and bold enough to take that leap of faith into the unknown. If I don't step out and try, I will always wonder what if.. Thankfully God is good, He is gracious and patient and has led every step of the way, continuously bringing just the right person with a word, a verse, encouragement at just the right time to direct us on the right path. 

{A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9}

Over these last few years we have been thinking praying about what we want in our lives, how we want to live, to love, what we want for our children, what we want to instill in them, about the true riches in life...we only get so much time with them before we set them off into the world as (hopefully) functional citizens. We hope to do all we can with the precious time we have to raise young men who love the Lord, who are brave and strong, yet loving and kind, who will change the world. I don't take this lightly, so pray for us if you will. Pray that we are wise and discerning as to what's best for these boys. That we are sensitive to the Lord's leading, and for courage and strength during this time in our lives. It would mean so much!