Go.

I love the changing of seasons. I always have. When the weather starts to shift and I can look forward to all the things that pertain to the upcoming few months. As in life, some seasons are better than others and some seem painfully long or just too short. I’m usually eagerly looking for that first dip in the weather when it begins to change. But I also listen for a stirring within my heart. I try to hear what God is speaking to me, for myself and my family, for the next life season we are approaching. What we need more or less of, what we want to be intentional about in growing our boys, or in the way we function as a whole and what we need to hold sacred.

It was around this time last year that I felt the Lord placing something big in my heart. We were on a road trip on the east coast, visiting family and friends, seeing beautiful country and museums, stopping at some amazing farms and soaking in the beauty of all fall’s glory when I heard God say something I had heard just a couple years before. It's time to move... But we had been trying to move- we had been trying to buy a property since our last move! It was two years of hunting for our dream property with a closed door on every. single. one. I sensed that something was different about this move. I hesitantly brought up the idea to Josh during a long stretch of driving somewhere in the middle of America. I was hesitant because I didn't know what it could be opening up...It felt like peeking behind a door where you secretly hoped all your greatest dreams and desires were held. I wasn't sure what his response would be. And in honesty, I didn't want to face the disappointment of it being nothing at all either. I couldn't help but think what if. What if we actually were supposed to move away, like far away from home? What if it was time to do that really big thing? What if it was time for us to really be bold and brave? Would God really lead us from the place we were just called to a few years prior? Maybe...or maybe not. But we had to find out, we had to test the waters. We had to pursue this to see where it would go. So, being the logical and responsible people we are we made a "Stay or Go" list! Yes, we are those people. List people. We make lists for everything. For groceries, projects around the house, budget lists, goals for the year, and our dreams. And then we bring these lists to the Lord. We give them to Him, and choose to trust Him with every part of our lives, big and small. He has always made our little lists happen, whether we're striving for them or not. He has the master plan here, and we know He has good in store for His kids.

When we looked at our list, what we saw under the "Stay" side were things of huge blessing to us; being in close distance to our family and friends, security for our financial future, and a really wonderful church. They were things of great comfort to us. The "Go" list was much longer. It listed our dreams and desires we felt burning in our hearts. How does one go about deciding between the head and the heart? Do we choose to step out into uncomfortable and unknown places? We know God places the desires within us, they are given by Him... but there is no life manual that tells you how to make these big decisions. Just like there's not a parenting manual given when you bring home your first brand new baby. Having the experience of our puddle-jump-of-a-move a few years prior gave us a little confidence to navigate through this big decision now at our feet. So we took our list and surrendered it to the Lord. We prayed for God to confirm what He spoke in my heart to both Josh and I. We prayed for clear direction, for wisdom and discernment to know His leading from our own. And that's exactly what we got. It was so very clear that we were being pulled away, not just "trying to get out of California" like so many tend to think.

The Lord began to lead us on a journey into uncharted territory. Uncharted for us, but not for Him. I read a quote that said "the time will come when you run out of map for the road you've been taking to get where you go...but maps don't lead to holy ground". It's true, there is no map for what we're doing. Trust me I was looking everywhere for it. We didn't have the full picture of what this was going to look like. We've never done this before. It's terrifying and thrilling all at the same time. But there is the One who leads our every step, our Lamp lighting the path we can vaguely see, holding our hand and walking along side us, making each step clear as we're about to take it, never letting us fall. The One who calls us into places He's already prepared, who has purpose in all things. 

The Lord spoke to me through a verse and I've clung onto it for many months now.   
"Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19
Shortly after reading it I heard a sermon on this exact verse in the context of our situation. I can still hear the words of the pastor saying "roads of faith lead to rivers of blessing." I knew then with much certainty that we would really be moving, and that this was really going to happen.

So we say yes, we trust and we go. And we did. It still feels surreal to say we moved from California out loud. I've found much peace knowing that everything we've learned, tried, failed and succeeded at, and walked through in the last three years have all been in preparation for this next season in Idaho. We're so blessed to have had people walk this journey with us, praying for wisdom and God to make clear the direction we should go, fully loving and supporting us even when it means allowing 1,400 miles of distance between us. To have amazing and wonderful parents and family who unselfishly in the end want what God has for us, even if it hurts. But we know His goodness, His provision, His comfort, His peace... He has given it freely in fullness, for all of us. He withholds no good thing to those who walk along His path and with that we know we can surrender and follow because He won't lead us where He won't go.