Go.

I love the changing of seasons. I always have. When the weather starts to shift and I can look forward to all the things that pertain to the upcoming few months. As in life, some seasons are better than others and some seem painfully long or just too short. I’m usually eagerly looking for that first dip in the weather when it begins to change. But I also listen for a stirring within my heart. I try to hear what God is speaking to me, for myself and my family, for the next life season we are approaching. What we need more or less of, what we want to be intentional about in growing our boys, or in the way we function as a whole and what we need to hold sacred.

It was around this time last year that I felt the Lord placing something big in my heart. We were on a road trip on the east coast, visiting family and friends, seeing beautiful country and museums, stopping at some amazing farms and soaking in the beauty of all fall’s glory when I heard God say something I had heard just a couple years before. It's time to move... But we had been trying to move- we had been trying to buy a property since our last move! It was two years of hunting for our dream property with a closed door on every. single. one. I sensed that something was different about this move. I hesitantly brought up the idea to Josh during a long stretch of driving somewhere in the middle of America. I was hesitant because I didn't know what it could be opening up...It felt like peeking behind a door where you secretly hoped all your greatest dreams and desires were held. I wasn't sure what his response would be. And in honesty, I didn't want to face the disappointment of it being nothing at all either. I couldn't help but think what if. What if we actually were supposed to move away, like far away from home? What if it was time to do that really big thing? What if it was time for us to really be bold and brave? Would God really lead us from the place we were just called to a few years prior? Maybe...or maybe not. But we had to find out, we had to test the waters. We had to pursue this to see where it would go. So, being the logical and responsible people we are we made a "Stay or Go" list! Yes, we are those people. List people. We make lists for everything. For groceries, projects around the house, budget lists, goals for the year, and our dreams. And then we bring these lists to the Lord. We give them to Him, and choose to trust Him with every part of our lives, big and small. He has always made our little lists happen, whether we're striving for them or not. He has the master plan here, and we know He has good in store for His kids.

When we looked at our list, what we saw under the "Stay" side were things of huge blessing to us; being in close distance to our family and friends, security for our financial future, and a really wonderful church. They were things of great comfort to us. The "Go" list was much longer. It listed our dreams and desires we felt burning in our hearts. How does one go about deciding between the head and the heart? Do we choose to step out into uncomfortable and unknown places? We know God places the desires within us, they are given by Him... but there is no life manual that tells you how to make these big decisions. Just like there's not a parenting manual given when you bring home your first brand new baby. Having the experience of our puddle-jump-of-a-move a few years prior gave us a little confidence to navigate through this big decision now at our feet. So we took our list and surrendered it to the Lord. We prayed for God to confirm what He spoke in my heart to both Josh and I. We prayed for clear direction, for wisdom and discernment to know His leading from our own. And that's exactly what we got. It was so very clear that we were being pulled away, not just "trying to get out of California" like so many tend to think.

The Lord began to lead us on a journey into uncharted territory. Uncharted for us, but not for Him. I read a quote that said "the time will come when you run out of map for the road you've been taking to get where you go...but maps don't lead to holy ground". It's true, there is no map for what we're doing. Trust me I was looking everywhere for it. We didn't have the full picture of what this was going to look like. We've never done this before. It's terrifying and thrilling all at the same time. But there is the One who leads our every step, our Lamp lighting the path we can vaguely see, holding our hand and walking along side us, making each step clear as we're about to take it, never letting us fall. The One who calls us into places He's already prepared, who has purpose in all things. 

The Lord spoke to me through a verse and I've clung onto it for many months now.   
"Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19
Shortly after reading it I heard a sermon on this exact verse in the context of our situation. I can still hear the words of the pastor saying "roads of faith lead to rivers of blessing." I knew then with much certainty that we would really be moving, and that this was really going to happen.

So we say yes, we trust and we go. And we did. It still feels surreal to say we moved from California out loud. I've found much peace knowing that everything we've learned, tried, failed and succeeded at, and walked through in the last three years have all been in preparation for this next season in Idaho. We're so blessed to have had people walk this journey with us, praying for wisdom and God to make clear the direction we should go, fully loving and supporting us even when it means allowing 1,400 miles of distance between us. To have amazing and wonderful parents and family who unselfishly in the end want what God has for us, even if it hurts. But we know His goodness, His provision, His comfort, His peace... He has given it freely in fullness, for all of us. He withholds no good thing to those who walk along His path and with that we know we can surrender and follow because He won't lead us where He won't go.

The Year of the Chickens

In the previous posts I shared our decision to homeschool, our desire to live intentionally in how we raise our boys. I talked about hunting trips and then house hunting. We talked about gardening and what we were growing. But I never got around to the chickens...

Living on an acre of open, usable land and not using it was torture when we finally had so much space. I was so eager to get chickens on it at least. But my husband wasn't as enthusiastic about the idea. Yes he wanted animals, but his timeline is much more 'relaxed' than mine. If I decide I'm going to do something I'm ready to start it right then! Part of our struggle was deciding whether we would actually get chickens at this house because we were renting. We didn't want to jump into something that needed a lot of infrastructure to then have to tear it all down and remove when we would one day buy a house. Of course I was up for anything (we can figure all that out later!) but my voice of reason (husband) thought it would be wise to wait. It seemed like we were always 'almost' buying a house, so it was hard to commit to animals when we could soon possibly be packing it all up. But one day a friend had let us know about a friend of hers looking for a new home for her laying hens. 

The three amigas were already laying eggs, and their little coop came with them- all for FREE! I told Josh, this is our chance to to try our hand at chickens. We don't have to raise them from baby chicks, we don't need to buy anything. God is literally giving these birds to us, all we have to do is say yes! It was the lowest risk opportunity for us to get our feet wet. So that November we had our first chickens and the next few months after that were a little crazy to say the least. We had the fever and we were jumping in with both feet.

By February we had 36 baby chicks for egg layers, 25 meat chicks and 15 turkey chicks ordered to arrive that spring. We also somehow picked up 4 ducklings and then another 12 baby chicks from the feed store! Those teeny little balls of fluff were so adorable and too hard to resist when you see them that you aren't thinking of having to feed them when they get bigger! Then we (Josh) had to build the coops and chicken tractors to house these birds. We had to buy feeders and waterers and lots and lots of feed. We bought portable electric fencing to rotate the chickens in the back pasture, and so we could take with us if we moved. We learned how to process a chicken and then bought the equipment to do this processing with our meat chickens. Within six months we grew, processed, packaged and sold near 180 meat birds.

Growing our own chicken from start to finish was such an empowering experience. We took so much pride and respect in the process. When you do something like this for yourself, your family or for other families, you have the power to do it well, do it honest and do it right. We vowed to do this responsibly, humanely, organically and in a way that is natural to the animal. And I have to tell you I have never tasted anything better. You can literally taste the difference and that was fully worth all the blood, sweat and tears we experienced that summer. We will probably always raise our own poultry for the rest of our lives, it made that much of a difference.

But we did so much so fast that by the end of summer we were all exhausted and ready for a long break from chicken and longing for a vacation. So that's what we did. We took time off and took a road trip to the east coast. We took a breath. Reflected on all that we did, figured out if there were things we could improve. Things we wanted to do again or do differently. Josh had also signed up for a farm business workshop in Indiana, so we made that part of our trip. It turned out to be one of the best trips full of family, friends and farm fun, and in the middle of fall.

It was absolutely gorgeous and the weather was perfect. We camped in family and friends' driveways, at campsites and on farms. We visited the Creation Museum, had farm tours, met new people, lingered by campfires, saw country we've never seen before and celebrated Micah's 10th birthday. We have always loved taking road trips together. We've been doing it since our firstborn was 3 weeks old and it has made some of the greatest memories our family shares. We came home feeling so blessed, refreshed and ready for what the next year would bring.